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  • Chris Davy

S is for...Straw Poll

Updated: Dec 5, 2019


Let’s be honest, for those in the UK, it’s pretty much going to make or break Christmas.


”Oh, no it won’t!”


”Oh, yes it will!”


Listen, we‘re British it’s what we do; play down the significance of something so serious, for fear of disturbing and upsetting the herd.

”And quite frankly Susan, ruining what otherwise would have been a rather splendid Christmas lunch.”


Then everyone sits there in silence and forcefully enjoys dinner.


”Because we’ve got to make the best of it.”


Yes, it does sounds like a quintessentially British scenario doesn’t it? I know, thanks.


Because we, the British, for all it’s good qualities, have this bad trait of being stubborn bellends from time to

time. A lot of us are very resistant to change.


The other reason we often don’t disturb the herd is because we are ultimately scared of alienating ourselves...and having no fwends to pway wiv! :( nawwww


And yes yes, I’m on about the General Election. No of course it won’t actually ruin Christmas; because we’re British. But it will ruin Christmas, in fact it already has ruined Christmas, and has done for YEARS!!! Because Christmas is about togetherness, and giving, and sharing, and being kind, and equality, and yadda yadda yadda - urgh I’m sick of it already. To be honest, I don’t know why I care, it sounds far too nice and jolly.


But behind it all, is the shitty UK government, or rather the shitty electoral system, which pretty much isn’t about that and hasn’t really ever been about that. So yeah, Christmas is ruined.


But we won’t let that ruin our Christmas!

IN THE NAME OF PIGS IN BLANKETS AND LEFT OVER TURKEY, STUFFING, AND GRAVY SANDWICHES I WON’T FUCKING ALLOW IT!!!

Why write on this topic, anyway? Well, because I can. Because I know it’s important. Because ‘S is for...Spice of life, Variety is the’. I can write on anything mate, it whatever way I please. Because Christmas is good, but I want it to be better. That’s why. Because, I get tired of the moaners. So, I’m having a premoan about them, oh the irony.


Because every year the same stuff is going to happen and people are going to moan and wonder why things are the way they are, and wonder why life is so hard, and why things can’t be better, and why can’t we all just get along. And if not that, then those that would moan will put on a brave face and say it’s alright, only until January first arrives, the New Year New Me wears off and they fucking hate themselves, everyone else and life. Woohoo! Frauds. Me, I’m quite happy being a sour miserable bastard and letting you know about it.



But what is the solution to all of this? Well, albeit a pretty serious and boring one to most, but nevertheless the same answer it’s been for decades, because it’s kind of like a science and therefore simply relies on a system and a level of consistency; hmmm, call it a social science if you will.


Basically, our political system needs reform. Put it this way, the political system of any country is basically a part representation of the set of beliefs that we as a collective have. It’s there because we as a society either put it there or allowed it to remain there. It is a reflection of us.


First Past The Post voting and the set up of the House of Commons is basically designed, intentionally or not, to encourage fighting, dispute, conflict; whatever S is for...Synonym and Style you want to present it in. And until that is gone, we will never truly unify and collaborate as a group of countries. Yeah, remember that, we the UK are actually four countries.


The electoral and governmental structure alone, let alone the cretins within it, pretty much defines the way the country is run. It pretty much doesn’t matter what their manifestos are, or what they support, or want to pump our money into. The electoral system won‘t allow for our country to flourish. Whether we are in the EU or not.


Think of it like this...


Take the best sports team you can think of, or the best band, or film crew and cast. The best whatever...group of chefs.


Give them some shitty tactics, some crap music, rubbish script, or shitty kitchen...there we go...we’re getting there.


Aaaaaaannnnnddddd....???


They are never going to come up with any particularly good results.


Doesn’t matter if you reincarnated Freddie Mercury, John Lennon, Ginger Baker, and Pete Entwistle. Give them some shitty poorly organised and poorly structured music and, whilst most of us would watch it because well - what a fucking Supergroup! - after 10 minutes we’d get bored because it would sound fucking awful. And that’s the difference between those guys and some others...they pioneered for change, for new, for innovative. They didn’t settle for the same

old shit. That’s why the were fucking great!


An electoral system is essentially an embodiment of the skeleton of leadership philosophy, aaaaaaannnnnndddd currently ours is fucking stupid. Because when it comes down to it, the politicians are ‘just doing their jobs’.


Trouble is the job description needs updating, and the rest of it.

Oh yeah, and the best slash worst bit. We’re BRITISH!!! So, we won’t complain about it to change the situation for future instances. Because we don’t really like complaining either, we like moaning and getting it off our chest and then doing nothing about it.


Until the next time it annoys us. And then we have another good moan.

Chances are you haven’t got this far...unless you found what I wrote a laugh. If you did and you actually give a fuck about the UK then check out these links below.


www.makevotesmatter.org.uk

www.electoral-reform.org.uk


Something someone supposedly said

”Just fucking vote already and stop moaning!” - Me


Songs

Send in the clowns - Frank Sinatra











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