S is for... Spin
Right then people, listen up. Yesterday's topic was pretty heavy. BUT, it's been addressed now. It was always there to be spoken about, it is always there and it's never going away. We're actually all fortunate that we live in a day and age where you can label such a thing and discuss it. Those of you that missed yesterdays blog, it was about suicide.
What now? Ok, I'm saying we look at some of the tools I've used over the years to help me deal with good times and bad times. Remember, I'm looking for an elite Great Britain Basketball programme. I'm not in charge of anything to do with the current programme, but I am a qualified basketball coach. I am a founder of a basketball club. I love this sport, and I want to see Great Britain flourish. Given that the game doesn't get the same amount of support as other sports in the UK - we're going to have to be creative about how we get there. I'm just going to give you everything I have - you can take it or leave it. But to put it bluntly, basketball is about winning or losing. Winning, good. Losing, baaaddd.
Spin - no I'm not talking about spinning a ball on your finger, or anywhere else on your body for that matter. Although, if you want to do it, crack on, it is wicked fun AND it looks cool as fuck. I'm pretty shit at it, but then I never really practised it enough.
What I'm talking about is spinning a perspective, spinning an opinion, spinning words, a head space, a psychology.
Tony Robbins - the guy is not a basketball player. BUT, amongst other things, he is a motivational speaker. I see him as the best English teacher I've ever had. Special shout out to Mr. Tanner who was my English teacher for a lot of school, and an amazing one at that. My Dad gave me a copy of Unleash The Power Within when I was about 15/16? Unleash The Power Within is a book by Tony Robbins. Dad didn't give me a copy of the book, he gave me a copy of the audio CD - which was actually more like a live seminar that Robbins did somewhere. Being someone that listened to music a lot, this sat well with me. Listening is a much more passive act than reading. Reading I often find really difficult. Because I want to take in everything that the author wrote. I analyse and dissect stuff. The way I see it is, you can pick and choose every word that you use. So why did you say it that way? If I'm reading about something I'm interested in though, I will smash my way through that book in no time. Lord of The Flies, Tommy Lee's Autuobiography(Motley Crue) Slash's Autuobiography(Guns 'n' Roses), Ian Wright's Autuobiography(Footballer) are some books that I've blitzed through in no time. Yeah, I normally choose fact over fiction.
ANYWAY, in this particular seminar Robbins discusses a bunch of stuff. I CANNOT REMEMBER for the life of me exactly what. But one of the main topics and things that Robbins is all about is Neuro Linguistic Programming. Now what is that? Well that pretty much translates to - how to use good English in you head to communicate with yourself. Psychology. See, I fully embrace the concept that we have a conscience. I embrace that we have control of the conscience - even if there are lots of things in the world that try to influence us. I embrace the fact that what goes on in my head effects and affects (don't get me started - I will always get confused by these two words) - lets just say what goes on in my head changes the impact I have on what I'm doing. So the phrase again, Neuro Linguistic Programme.
If you are interested in trying to figure out the difference between the effect and affect, here is a cool video. Don't ask me though, I'll probably fuck it up.
The way you talk to yourself, the way you communicate with yourself, that is something to really be recognised and acknowledged. For example, at some point I'm sure we've all said or heard someone say at least one of these three things. If not, then at least something very very similar.
"I could do that."
"I should do that."
"I would do that."
Each sentence has a sentiment. #s-word All of them are not very committal.
"I am going to do that."
"I will do that."
"I must do that."
Stark contrast in sentiment. Very committal. Different words, different sentiment. Simple.
How about this.
"I'm so rubbish."
"I'm not good at this."
Both mean pretty much the same thing. But arguably, I'd say one demonstrates a little bit more self-respect than the other. By all means, be hard on yourself. But also, broaden the way you talk to yourself too. The way to test it, imagine if someone came up to you and said, "You're rubbish at that." compared to "You aren't very good at that, are you." Obviously, there are a bunch of other things that you would account for - who is saying it, how they said it in terms of tone, when they said it, where they said it, if it's a public or private conversation. But, I think we all know that one is more respectful than the other. One is more supportive. THAT SAID, this leads me on to another topic for another day - snowflakes and sensitivity. Yeah you heard. Ultimately, I think it really depends upon who you are talking to and the relationship you have with them. The test is, how honest can you really be with them? Remember, the truth hurts sometimes. So there's no need to always dress it up for the fear of upsetting someone. If you don't go through the pain and the upset, how are you supposed to be able to cope. It's all practise. You can't hide from the reality of it all.
But all this stuff, this is what I'm talking about when it comes to spinning. Think of spin doctors. Someone who works for a political party that is skilled in public relations and advises parties on how to represent their policies and actions. Well you can be your own spin doctor, on yourself. The main difference being that political spin doctors are usually crafty bastards that are trying to sway and influence your beliefs. Trying to make something seem, not so bad or much better than it actually is.
That's why honesty is so key and important. That's why head games and trash talking are such a big part of sport. Because you need to be able to win the mental battle. You need to be able to have faith in reality and your perception of it. Chemistry, faith, relationships are all at play. You have to juggle them.
Trouble is, that's often really hard to do that when everything around you is going mental.
Find a way to put a positive spin on something. You don't have to always use it, but it will at least bring some balance to your perception of everything. It's not all of the battle but it is part of it. We haven't even touched on the body yet. This is really more dealing with the mind.
Who doesn't love a good quote?
"The media are obsessed with spin doctors and with portraying them as a bad thing, yet seem addicted to our medecine." - Alistair Campbell
Songs to listen to now:
Two Princes - Spin Doctors
Words - The Bee Gees
Little Lies - Fleetwood Mac
Watcha Say - Jason Derulo
You Spin Me Round - Dead or Alive
Spin The Black Circle - Pearl Jam