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  • Chris Davy

S is for... Snowflakes


Yeah, it was going to come around sooner or later. But today I’ve got more of a reason to discuss it.


Truth is, a lot of people are only prepared to discuss something when it impacts upon them. Usually because it is stopping them achieving something they are trying to achieve. Or maybe it isn't even impacting upon them, they have just worked themselves up into a frenzy and think it is impacting upon them more than it actually is.


This is now a problem in my life so now I want to talk about it!


Could pretty much stop this post there, couldn’t I...?


But I won’t.


I love to chat shit. I mean, I write. I always have, on and off. Songs, poems, scripts. My point being, I actively try to be prepared to discuss anything. But in today’s world it becomes increasingly more difficult. Because you are eventually going to run into a snowflake. And then the discussion turns into a debate and the debate just turns into a verbal slanging match and that turns into a fight and then everyone is dead! Bam dead bodies everywhere! And as much as a slanging match can be a laugh from time to time, personally I find it boring. Plus I don’t really dig the idea of dead bodies everywhere. There’s loads more stuff I would rather be doing. Sitting on my arse doing nothing being one of them. Way more fun! Dare I say it, I’d rather go running. And I fucking hate running.


Let’s get this straight. I’m a snowflake, you’re a snowflake, we’re all fucking snowflakes. In some sense. To a greater or lesser degree. But we aren’t all ‘snowflakes’. A snowflake being someone that just continually gets offended by everything. And then feels the need to continually go on about it in a righteous manner. I think a trait of a snowflake also has to be that they are stubborn. Because if you don’t learn from your snowflakiness you are always going to be a snowflake. If you can’t admit you are a snowflake, you are probably a snowflake. A snowflake could even be someone who has read what I've just written and can't help but say I'm wrong. They just can't resist the urge. That's also a Social Justice Warrior. Again, love your enthusiasm, just tone it down a bit and channel it before someone has a fucking aneurysm.


A group of snowflakes is known as a snowball and a bunch of snowballs eventually turns into an avalanche. No one needs that.


Why though today, do I want to discuss snowflakes? Well yesterday I wrote my absolutely boss lyric, S is for Satisfied? Now like many aspiring writers, artists etc. I would like to be able to make a living by just doing the things I love. But also, I realise that the likelihood of that becoming a reality decreases as every day goes by.


Because in reality a lot of these ‘professions’ are actually just skills. And anyone could learn them if they wanted to. So because more and more people share the same skills, in order to stand out you have to do something extra spectacular. You have to create something that hasn’t been created yet. You have to invent, you have to pioneer.


So, I think S is for... Satisfied? is one of the best things I’ve written. Can't say I've ever really seen anything that matches it. If you have, let me know. Then I can be a snowflake about it. So, I want to share it with people. I want people to engage with what I’ve created because eventually I will be able to find a way to make a bit of a living by the things I create. I hope. And as much as it is just a skill that anyone can learn, fact is it is something I did. It’s a skill I learnt and I put into practise. I put in the effort, no one else. Therefore if anyone should be set to benefit from it, it should be me. Surely?! But, unfortunately I’m a team player so I like things to be symbiotic. Which makes this difficult. Ultimately, because I find it hard to be wholeheartedly selfish. Fuck sake!


Anyways, I tried to promote a post today on Instagram. I put together a few images with the lyric on top of them.


I submitted the advert for review.


Then it gets rejected.


I’m not sure why, so I read this.

I then go through the advert and check it’s content, the hashtags and supporting text. No, don’t get it. I don’t understand why it’s getting rejected. So I try a slightly different approach. You can promote a few different things on Instagram. Get people to visit your profile; which is what I was doing. Another way is get people to visit your website. I’ll try that.


Rejected again.


So I go through all my previous posts. Anyone that reads what I write knows I swear. But anyways, it’s part of their policy that there is no profanity. So I try to play ball. I tweak some old posts. Remove some text, remove some hashtags. No swearing. No profanity.


Resubmit.


Rejected.


So I ‘appeal’.



Such a polite nice boy. Even if I clearly can't spell properly. Doh!


I get this message in response. They overlooked my poor spelling. Appreciate that. But we'll soon discover that this pretty much highlights my inability to proofread entirely thoroughly.



So, I figure it’s part of my post. So I check back again on the post. OH YEAH...


‘shit’.


Shit IS in my ‘advert’. It’s in my lyric. But that part of my post in my eyes isn’t an ‘advert’, it’s a piece of art. I mean, I’m intelligent enough to know that in today’s world everything is a brand, and everyone is a brand, and people are expressing their brand when they share and post stuff and brand brand brand. Brandy brand brand brand. Oh fuck off! That is a lyric mate. It's a poem. It's not a fucking advert is it. If it is, tell me what it's an advert for? I'm not selling anything am I? I may be one day, but I'm not right now. I did it because I love doing it. I did it for the love of the art form. Are you trying to say I HAVE TO sell something? I have to contribute to a consumerist culture? No mate, I'm just writing art and sharing it with the world. Advert my arse.

But this is the annoying thing. And I’ll explain why it annoys me so much.


Basically, I wrote the lyrics that way for a reason. It works better that way. Shit sounds way better than the PG alternative. But in order to ‘play ball’ I had to compromise my art in order to promote it. Which if I’m honest about it I think is...


a fucking twating cunting bastard wank fuck stain of a dog shit ball ache bollock smashing arse wiping dick bastard prick bellend shitting smeg head fuck stick thing to have to do!


You will see that I used the word shit in the original version and the word scum in the ‘PG’ version. I mean, even in terms of trying to pronounce it I think shit rolls of the tongue more easily than scum. It flows better. Anyway, they are both on Instagram. But got my advert through, sorted.



But it isn’t sorted. Because this is pandering to snowflakes. Don’t get me wrong, you are your own person, live your life the way you see fit. Raise your kids how you see fit. But please be realistic.


Censorship doesn’t stop things happening. It might stop them for a little while. But ultimately it doesn’t. It might stop things short term but it doesn’t guarantee stopping them long term. 'Out of sight out of mind' is one of the fucking stupidest things you’ll ever hear. Because you mean to tell me things don’t cross your mind even though you can’t see them?


What about the blind people? Bit offensive to them don’t you think? You selfish offensive prick!


It's like the whole big red button theory. Don't touch the big red button. Oh look, the fucking thing you asked someone not to do they fucking went and did. Don't say that word. How about suck it!?


Now don’t get me wrong. There is an element of this whole debate where we touch on bullying and discrimination. Because there is a fine line banter and bullying. Offensive and inoffensive. Trouble is most people don’t know what that line is. I’ll tell you. The line is, is the banter symbiotic? Or is someone just being a bullying dick? Are you in on the joke or are you the subject of it?


People can say what they want, I believe in freedom of speech. But racism is racism and that’s not cool. Sexism is sexism and that’s not cool. The list goes on. But please for all of our sake just remember what arena this stuff is taking place in. Social media is social media. IF you can’t elaborate, articulate or justify why you are posting the funny thing you are posting then you are probably being malicious and promoting hate. I'm not saying we have to put a disclaimer on everything either. You don't have to explain yourself all the time. Just be safe in the knowledge that you can have a laugh and it is the individual that is watching that is as much to blame as you are for how they react. Stand up for yourself by all means, just try not to be a snowflake about it. Say your shit and then carry on. I think the words, it's a joke should be enough. But when it comes to videos - that's a different ball game. Videos might actually be of genuine crazy shit happening. That's where social media goes a little bit Clockwork Orange. Monkey see, monkey do. Yeah, you don't want to encourage that. But words...especially the WRITTEN WORD...come on man!


Just remember the difference between us and the animals is that we have a fucking conscience!


Another thing. What if our language is wrong? Like what if semantically we’ve labelled the world wrong? What if one day shit means love? Yeah, go figure.


Ultimately, what I’m saying is with poor censorship management people are basically being programmed and taught what to find offensive. If you can’t practise expressing and consuming something then you will never learn how to better cope with it.


Ask anyone who is still smoking if those adverts on packing work. Or the fact that they are hidden away in a cupboard. Come on man, be realistic.


Now that, is fucked up!


Who doesn't love a good quote?


"You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durden


Songs to listen to now:


Satisfaction - Rolling Stones

Snowflake - Jim Reeves

Suzy Snowflake - Rosemary Clooney

Snowflake - Sia

Purple Snowflakes - Marvin Gaye

Snowflakes of Love - Toni Braxton

Snowflakes, snowflakes - The Kilboomers

Who designed the snowflake - Rod Stewart

Snowflake - Kate Bush

Our Snowflake Dreams - Michael Johnson

When Snowflakes Fall in Summer - The Everly Brothers

Winter Symphony - The Beach Boys


©2018 S is for Something