• Chris Davy

S is for... Smacking your kids

Ooooooo controversial.

But relevant and, like all topics of conversation, S is for...Something that isn’t going away any time soon. If ever.

Basically, literally just this morning, I’ve been powed right in the face with the fucking Xbox controller. Right on the snout.

So, I’ve given my little man a smack on the back. Then he’s got upset, and had a bunt about it for a good few minutes. I’ve basically tried to get him to come back to me so we can make a amends, but obviously I’m public enemy number one at this point. So you know, I can understand that he hates my face. I wouldn’t particularly like it if it was the other way around either. Realistically I can go fuck myself.

On a scale of 1-10 I reckon I gave him a 2 out of 10 smack on the back. So, let’s adjust that, because subconsciously I’ve probably rated it like that because I don’t want to come across like a dick. Let’s say it was more like a 4 out of 10. Now I can round that up to a 5 out of 10 and we have an incredible situational and statistical nightmare.

In addition to that, he probably gave me a 2 out of 10 pow to the face with the controller. But you know, I am a bit soft, and I don’t want to come across like a sissy. So I’ve probably tried to play it down a bit because I don’t want to come across as weak. To give a more realistic picture let’s say it hurt me more like a 4 out of 10. Now we can round that up to a 5 out of 10 and now we have an incredible situational and statistical nightmare.




So, what happened after that was. I went through a bunch of thoughts. I forget exactly what. Then I went to get him and give him a hug. I cleaned off the gross bogies that he’d wiped all over his face. And said I was sorry because I realise that he was only playing and didn’t know what he was doing. He’s not even 2. #awkard That doesn’t stop the fact that he powed me right on the beak with a fucking

xbox controller though. Hahahahaha! But at the time it wasn’t funny and it hurt.

One of the hardest things we have to deal with in life is the spontaneous decisions we make in a split second. Because sometimes the repercussions of these actions are so massive the damage they cause can never be repaired. In fact, in reality they can never be repaired. You can’t actually change the past and what happened. You have to deal with it.

But what you can do is change how you view the past and how it impacts your future.

Should I have smacked him on the back?

Man, it’s a tough question to answer because I like to be definitive. I like to try and make everything to fall into a yes or no box. I like the challenge.

My answer? Yes.

Because if I don’t give him a little bop he will continue to take the piss. He will never truly learn that it isn't cool to hit people; until he runs into someone else in his life that socks him on the nose and potentially causes more damage. Perhaps irreversible and unrecoverable.

I’ve never been one for fighting. I mean, if I have to I will. But I’ve normally managed to wangle my way out of most physical confrontations. But it’s a part of reality that has to be dealt with.

That’s why I love sport, that’s why sport is so important. Sport for the most part is literally ‘Civil War’. It’s so so so important to learn this. You can go at each other and come out the other side and everything’s cool. Because believe me, that energy, that frustration, that aggression...and we all have it to a greater or lesser degree in some shape or form at one point or another, it has to go somewhere.

The trick is learning how and where to send it.

Next time though, pfffft, who knows. I might just skip the bop and kick him out. That’ll learn him!

Something somebody once said

”My mom beat us until she started breaking clothes hangers. Wooden clothes hangers! Once we started laughing back at her, then your spankings were through. That’s the way I was raised. So I got to be about 13 when she finally quit spanking on me. But I think that it was a great way to be raised.” - Doug Harvey


Smack My Bitch Up - The Prodigy

Mama Said Knock You Out - LL Cool J

You beat me to the punch - The Temptations

Sucker Punch - Sigrid

Punch The Lion - Melvins

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