• Chris Davy

S is for...Side Picking

The fun part about writing, and especially writing a blog, is that I can write about anything. It’s mine and I can do what I want with it. That said, I’m not a muppet, check that, I’m not a complete muppet, I know if I wrote some stuff I could get myself right in the shit very quickly and easily. However, instead of just spouting my opinion on everything and anything; I do like to try and give it some kind of point.

If you want to know what the point is, go and buy my book. Here is a link. For those of you that don’t do the whole reading thing, like me, you’ll be pleased to hear an audio book is on the way.

The main point I have linked to today’s S, I guess is, we are all the same. We might not be exactly the same. But there are fundamental levels on which we are all the same. Reality is...we are simultaneously the same and not the same. But, if we had to choose, if you had to choose, do you think are we more the same, or more not the same? If we had to pick a side, which side would it be? Well, I like the ideas of community, team, solidarity, and togetherness. I think in order to support that philosophy and psychology it’s more positive to say we are all the same. Like, it’s a key ingredient to empathy; which is vital to community, team building and team chemistry. So, ultimately I choose to say we are all the same. It at least gives me the comfort in mind to believe that I can get along with other people, and that people can get along with each other. If I didn’t have that, then why would I even bother trying to get on with other people, or encouraging others to do the same? Why would I even bother trying to make things work? Why would I even bother trying to make things better? Also, don't try and kid me, you do have to try. It doesn't just happen. So, it's useful to have a reason to bother.

We are all the same; I feel much more a part of the whole with that psychology. I just think it's way more positive. Until, you piss me off and I want nothing to do with you. Then, you are nothing like me!!! But I also say we are the same, because we are all the fucking same! ON SOME LEVEL. Fundamentally. And that’s what I care about. The fundamentals. Sometimes it just takes a time to realise that. Especially if it isn’t a focal point of your teams philosophy. I’ve been into basketball for a long time, and like a lot of sports, but I particularly find basketball to be quite vocal about this; you have to work on the fundamentals. I think that’s why it’s on my radar; because of basketball. At least acknowledge that fundamentals of people are a thing and that they are there.

But why did I choose today to start writing about side picking? Well, I woke up. Checked out my phone. Then, I’ve just seen James Corden’s segment about fat-shaming; that he did on his tv show. He’s having a moan at Bill Maher about the fact that Maher spoke about fat shaming. Yadda yadda yadda.

I often find myself in a torturous headspace; because of who I am and my experience. I always bang on about how I studied film; but I’ve never watched the Godfather. That said, I will be soon. It was my birthday yesterday and Trace bought me a 100 Movies Bucket List poster. The Godfather is on it, so I’ll probably watch it now. I've had a copy of it for ages, just never bothered to watch it. Because man, that shit is loooooooooooonnnnnnngggg. For the record, I’ve already watched 64 of the films on this poster. Maybe more, but I think there’s watching a movie and then there's ‘watching’ a movie. Some of you have probably watched more movies than me, but then again, some of you don’t know shit about making or watching films. You’ve just ‘watched’ a bunch of them. I have an inflated sense of knowledge when it comes to films because I have a degree in it; but you know, also because that’s what having a degree in something would give you, or any qualification for that matter. Same way that a surgeon with a degree would have an inflated sense of knowledge compared to me if it came to cutting people open. Because you know, they fucking should do.

The other part of my degree is Media and Culture; in essence, a bit of anthropology. So basically, the study of humans, their behaviour, and how societies behave. This is partly why the torturous head space exists. Because I have to watch people being S is for...Stupid. So, fucking stupid. We all do at some point. Yeah, me writing that is probably a stupid thing to do, but I’m cool with it. At least I’m self-aware and know I’m being stupid when I’m being stupid. It's just tough to watch sometimes when people are being stupid, but either won't admit it, or can't see it. All I can say is you get better at watching people be stupid over time. You don't have to let it stress you out. You also, get better at being stupid over time. Because, shit, you kind of have to.

Anyway, side picking. Basically, if you don’t pick sides; you don’t make a decision. If you don’t make a decision; you don’t set a standard. If you don’t set a standard; you have no way of knowing if you are making progress or not.

But the thing to remember is there is often more than two sides.

What am I getting at? Well Corden and Maher are both tits. It would appear that ‘celebrities’ and all that bollocks have gotten to a point now where they are tit for tatting through television shows and just promoting their self-righteousness. Whose message is best, who is the most ‘right’? Who can lead the most moral life. It’s fucking painful to watch man. Partly, because I believe they are adding to more to the segregation of people than unifying of them. Like, yeah don't get me wrong that's important to have a sense of moral right and wrong, and to set a standard. But, what ever happened to the, "Oh shut the fuck up and just get on with it." response to being bullied or shamed? Oh yeah, it is there, but we can't express it because we are in the snowflake age; you can't be offensive. Some of you don't like it, but there will be historians that are going to account this period in history as that; the snowflake age.

I'm telling you now, just telling someone to fuck off, in reality, is without question one of the greatest ways to stand up for yourself. Just telling someone to shut the fuck up. P.S. You don't have to say it out loud - that can get you into a lot of trouble. Just say it with your face. Just look at them. They'll get the message. I've managed to perfect it so my face says that most of the day. At least one part of it anyway. Maybe just an ear, or an eyebrow.

Why is side picking important?

Well side picking is important, because, and I came up with this in the past few weeks

“If you aren’t part of the resistance, you are part of the resistance.”

Which will possibly go down as one of the greatest things I've ever stated.

By not picking a side, consciously or otherwise, you are actually inadvertently picking a side. You can't not pick a side. It's simply impossible. It might just be that we haven't given that side a name yet, or established it as a recognised something.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve felt like that for a long time; that it's important to have an opinion. I blame Tarantino in part for that. The scene in Pulp Fiction where Marvin gets his head blown off, all be it accidentally, by Vincent in the car. When Marvin says “Man, I don’t even have an opinion.” That is seen by some to have the subliminal message of “If you don’t have an opinion, you might as well shoot yourself in the fucking face!”. Which you know, I think yeah, highlights the importance of having an opinion. But you know, once you've established your opinion, do something with it, don't just spout it. Because if you hold your opinion but do nothing with it, there are a bunch of us who are just going to look at you like, yeah...and...what?

I try to pick the side where I'm not going to get wrapped up in the whole debate of what is the right or wrong thing to do bullshit. I try to pick the side where we are making progress. How do I do that? Well, people, that is an S for another day. This entry is long enough already.

Oh yeah, as for fat shaming. What side do I sit on? Dude, when it comes to weight management you've got to surf that shit. Don't worry I'll do the dirty work for society here, I'm 'qualified' to do that. You, we, they, I need to develop a better 'S is for...spectrum' to base your fat shaming/skinny shaming argument on. No being fat isn't good for you. But neither is being skinny. All I know is...if it bothers you that much, just tell someone to shut the fuck up and do something about it. Stay as you are, or put the required effort in to make a change. One something you could do is, S is for...Select sustenance smartly.

Oh yeah, and the whole side picking thing...basically we are in the S is for...Same fucking boat. Just remember that there are a whole spectrum of people on that boat. Everyone from the the person scrubbing the deck. I just wish these clowns that are supposed to entertain us did a better job when they were hopping on the moral high horse. One thing that needs to be encouraged more is S is for...Suck it up, Shoulder that shit and Stick with it.

Shouldn't be surprised though. Jesters are notoriously fucking mental. I should know.

Something someone supposedly said

"It might be a very human thing across the board, but we, in America, love a story - we need a story to get involved in. But then everything becomes more about how the story protects a certain perception as we pick sides." - Brad Pitt


Two Tribes - Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Side to Side - Ariana Grande

Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

Time Is on My Side - The Rolling Stones

Two Sides of the Coin - Kiss

Side - Travis Walk on the Wild Side - Lou Reed

©2018 S is for Something