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  • Chris Davy

S is for...Self

I started to think about what to write about self. Blinked a couple of times. Decided that the scope of this topic was so mammoth that you could never truly do it justice. Then I did what I often do, thought,


“Meh, fuck it. Let’s set off on a journey anyway and see where it takes me. At least then I’ll have done...something.”


For the record, I don’t recall exactly what I thought. Plus if I did, don’t be silly, the words I thought are only one part of what I thought.


So I, like most of us, probably started to learn about ‘self’ from somebody, at some point, saying to someone.


“Don’t be selfish.”

“No, that’s selfish.”

“Shellfish?...no, selfish.”


But at the time. I would have had no idea I was learning about the self. Consciously, at least. That’s the key part.


It’s got to be the number one ‘self’ based word, though right? Selfish. It has to be. Although, these days ‘selfie’ is probably not far behind now.


But the whole subject of the self...is so massive, unsurprisingly. I would have touched on it at college and then become overwhelmed by it at University. Since then I’ve just been trucking on, doing what I can to be better, make my life better, and where I can, help others do the same. As long as they aren’t a twat. That’s key as well.


ID

Ego

Super Ego

Sigmund Freud

Chomsky

Jung

Marx


And a bunch of other shit, by a bunch of other people. If you want to learn more about 'the self', these are some interesting starting points to explore the subject.


My head was, and still is blown by this subject. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. In a constant state of bewilderment. But I’ve been alive long enough now, and experienced enough things now, that I have a good relationship with ‘my’ self and a relatively good understanding of ‘the’ self. At the end of the day, we all know it, we hear it enough now. Bounded around everywhere.


“Be ‘your’self.”


But what if you don’t like ‘your’self? What if you’ve decided that ‘your’self is a cock? Then clearly you need to


“Sort ‘your’self out, then.”

“Have a word with ‘your’self.”

“Pull ‘your’self together.”


These phrases aren’t phrases by chance and fluke, by the way. They are genuinely sound advice. Sound advice, that we have been giving each other for years. But a lot of us probably don’t register the full concept of what is being said when someone says that to us, or even when we say it to ourselves. Because, me included, our knowledge of ‘the self’ is, and can only ever be, limited.


The reason I’ve written ‘your’self like that as well is because when you write yourself, as is commonly done, I think a lot of us are not fully aware of what we are actually talking about. A step back, a little bit of space and you can start to see the bigger picture.


Yourself


Is actually


Your self.


Fucking stupid English fucking everything up.


It’s your self...as in you own it. You can do with it as you please. But if you don’t look after it, then don’t be surprised when it doesn’t look after you.


Given that I’m a keen writer. A coach. A manager. A Dad. I like to have things that I can use to help me support others and 'my'self.


The main things that I find useful have been, and probably always will be...words. Without words I struggle massively to make sense of a situation. I struggle to get through a situation. I struggle to do pretty much anything. But over time, I’ve learnt more words, learnt more skills, and learnt how to achieve what I want by using all of this.


On the topic of self. It’s so huge, that I think the easiest way to start it is to learn a bunch of the terms linked to self and what they mean. That way, you’ve got them in your stock to use whenever you want.


So here is a list of some of the self topics. Which ultimately, if you really think about it is.....infinite. You just grab a word, stick it before or after self. Done.


Just make sure you experiment with how you stick it together. You know, the whole fiasco of


yourself

your self


Self List


True-

-ie

-ish

-less

My-

Your-

Our-

Do it your-

-Abasemement

-Absorbed

-Abuse

-Actualisation

-Assessment

-Aware

-Belief

-Blame

-Care

-Centered

-Certify

-Compassion

-Concealment

-Concept

-Confidence

-Conscious

-Control

-Criticism

-Deception

-Defense

-Deprecate

-Destruct

-Determination

-Development

-Discipline

-Disclosure

-Effacing

-Efficiacy

-Employed

-Enhancement

-Envestrangement

-Esteem

-Estimated

-Flagellation

-Full filling prophecy

-Govern

-Gratification

-Guilt

-Handicapping

-Harm

-Harm

-Hatred

-Help

-Identity

-Image

-Immolation

-Importance

-Improvement

-Indulge

-Inflated

-Inflicted

-Interest

-Justification

-Knowledge

-Loathing

-Love

-Management

-Monitoring

-Motivate

-Obsessed

-Objectification

-Opinionated

-Ownership

-Perception

-Pity

-Portrait

-Preservation

-Promote

-Promote

-Propaganda

-Punishment

-Raising Flour

-Realisation

-Reflection

-Regulated learning

-Reliance

-Respect

-Righteous

-Sabotage 

-Sacrifice

-Schema

-Service

-Serving

-Sufficient

-Talk

-Validation

-Valuation

-Verification

-Victimisation

-Worth

-XSS

Something someone said

(I thought about this a while back. Given that the S theme should be apparent throughout where possible. Something someone said is a way better title for this section! Pow!!)


“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” - Earnest Hemmingway


Songs

(And yeah, cut that shit title down. Keep it simple)


I touch myself - Divinyls

Finding myself - Nicki Minaj

Love yourself - Justin Bieber

Self Esteem - The Offspring

Self vs Self - Pendulum

Lose yourself - Eminem

Self Revolution - Killswitch Engage

Me, Myself & I - G-Eazy

Check Yo Self - Ice Cube

A self called nowhere - They might be gannets

Horrors of self - Hatebreed

Love myself - Hailee Steinfeld

Be yourself - Audioslave